The mePhone by Boris Glikman

The mePhone illustration by Michael Cheval

Illustration by Michael Cheval

One of the best things about being on Facebook is the opportunity to get to know some really talented people. One of those gifted ones, is writer & poet Boris Glikman (from Melbourne, AU) who has graciously allowed me to share some of his quirky, fun, short stories here with you.  Here’s the first.  We’d love to hear your thoughts on this piece so please comment!

The mePhone

One day a new type of phone that you could use to call yourself appeared on the market. All one had to do was dial a certain number and one would be connected straight away with oneself. The quality of the reception was so good that the voice on the other end of the line sounded as if it was coming from the very same room.

Inevitably, there was some initial apprehension about using this phone, for no one quite knew what kind of a response they would receive when they rang themselves out of the blue for the very first time. What if their unexpected call was considered to be an impertinent invasion of privacy?

Eventually, these fears subsided as most found that they were greeted with warmth and enthusiasm and their calls were seen as a pleasant surprise. Talking with yourself was just like talking with a dear friend you haven’t seen for a long time and conversation flowed easily.

People rushed to purchase this new invention, which was marketed under the brand name of “mePhone”. Suppliers could not keep up with the demand and there were ugly scenes as customers fought amongst themselves for the last available mePhone.

For mePhone to work properly certain rules had to be followed, and these were set out in the Owner’s Manual. First, the reception only worked in particular areas, access to which required an extra fee. Second, there was a strict time limit on how long you could spend speaking to yourself. And third, when using the mePhone, one had to wear special, rather cumbersome apparel that was sold separately from the phone. Also, owing to the technical complexities involved in establishing a connection, the cost of a call was outrageously expensive, although some enterprising phone companies, hoping to capitalise on the popularity of the mePhone, for a while only charged it at a local call rate.

However, these inconveniences were more than outweighed by the benefits you gained from having a good chat with yourself, for no one had ever had the time to stop and take a good, honest look at their lives. Everyone was always rushing about, preoccupied with the mundane details of existence, trying to silence the nagging question of whether they were happy with their lives and if they were being true to their inner selves.

And so it was an enlightening experience to be able to have a deep and meaningful talk with oneself. The users of the mePhone could now catch up with all the things in their lives they had never had the chance to think about before, to find out the vital news that fell by the wayside as they were speeding along the road of life.

People found that talking with yourself was a lot like talking to an old confidant, with whom the most intimate matters could be discussed. Not infrequently tears were shed as truths one had been hiding from oneself for many years were conveyed in blunt and forthright terms. Conversations gained a confessional aspect as darkest secrets known only to oneself were divulged openly over the phone lines. Quite often, surprises were lying in store as people discovered what they were actually feeling inside. At other times, the voice on the other end of the line would remind you of your long-neglected dreams, of desires and needs you had suppressed for far too long.

Many found out they weren’t really happy in their places of employment. Some realised they had fallen out of love a long time ago. Others saw for the first time that they had deluded themselves as well as others into believing they had reached fulfilment, regardless of how they actually felt inside. Quite a few recognised that they had become so comfortable with being miserable and disenchanted that they shrank back in fear when contentment appeared to be within easy reach.

The world became a better, happier place because of the mePhone as people at last began to be true to their own selves, for they knew they could no longer get away with lying to themselves. The way life had been before the mePhone was just a distant, faded memory and no person could imagine ever being without one.

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11 comments

  1. Boris · March 15, 2013

    thank you Christine! I’m honoured to be featured on your site!

    • scullylovepromo · March 15, 2013

      I’m happy to feature your writing, Boris! You’re welcome. 🙂

  2. Robyn · March 15, 2013

    This was great reading and I loved, LOVED the idea of the mePhone. It reminded me of the line from the movie, The Matrix – “know thyself.”

    • bozlich · March 15, 2013

      thank you Robin! I appreciate you reading my story and glad you liked it! I have seen Matrix too, however this story was inspired by the painting above!

  3. scullylovepromo · March 15, 2013

    It’s a very interesting and cool premise, to be sure! I think we could all benefit from a mePhone! Boris has a wonderful imagination and writes some really thought-provoking stuff, so stay tuned for more!

  4. polly dritsas · March 16, 2013

    Glad to see this story here. It has also been translated in French. Boris is my favourite living writer and as we see with this story, he is also a wonderful philosopher who can take us a long way with humour and great ease.

    • scullylovepromo · March 16, 2013

      Wow that’s quite the compliment, Polly! I definitely see the element of philosophy in his work, not to mention his dry sense of humour, and am looking forward to reading more of it.

    • bozlich · March 21, 2013

      thank you for your support and appreciation Polly!

  5. Jaime Buckley · March 20, 2013

    HAHA! Loved it. I was actually expecting a personal kick at the end–maybe a call to action to sit down and have a conversation with myself.

    Very enjoyable story Boris. Extremely clever. Shared it with friends =)

    • scullylovepromo · March 20, 2013

      So glad that you liked it Jaime and thank you very much for sharing it with your friends!

      Cheers,
      Christine

    • bozlich · March 20, 2013

      thank you Jaime, appreciate you reading the story and sharing it with your friends! Hope they liked it too!

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